Cherie Reich is hosting a flash fiction blogfest that ends today. The rules are:
-
Here are the rules:
- Entries must begin with the two words: Lightning flashed.
- Entries must be 300 words or less and be in prose.
- Entries must be posted on your blog between May 21 - 23.
- You must sign up in the linky to have your entry be counted.
And here's my entry. This was... cathartic:
Lightning flashed. Thunder crashed. Rain poured.
I heard none of it.
My brain buzzed. Dead, dead, dead.
No.
He couldn't be dead. I had to get there in time.
I had to save him.
"Chase!" I knew he wouldn't be able to hear me, not over the thunder and the rain and the dead, dead, dead, but I willed him to realize I was coming. Willed him to have hope.
Willed him to live.
Then I heard the scream.
"No!" I took the turn too fast, sliding on wet grass and landing hard on my knee, but I only felt numb. "Chase!"
I hit the clearing at a dead run, and I didn't stop to think about the fact that I was small and weak. I just saw the ungodly figure rise up with Chase—my Chase—defenseless below it.
I jumped on its back.
It roared and bucked, but I clung to it as it rose to its full, 14-foot height.
I didn't look down.
The hilt of my knife pressed into my hip, and I fumbled for it. In a swift, confident motion, I ran it up into the spot where the jaw meets the ear. Blood soaked me, pungent and inhuman, but I forced the blade farther, slicing across, severing the head.
It fell, but I rolled away and was crawling to Chase before the ground settled. "Chase." Tears burned my nose. Every part of him looked broken or bleeding. I didn't know where I could touch.
Dead, dead, dead.
Then he coughed. "Lex?"
I laughed, watery and almost hysterical. "Yeah."
Another cough, a little stronger. "Remember when I said I wanted to go camping?"
"Yeah?"
He opened one eye, and the knot of tears in my throat broke as he said, "I'm sorry about that."
You are a SUPER STAR. Yup. Here's your gold star. That was awesome!
ReplyDeleteI liked that you left the monster somewhat ambiguous. I imagined some reptilian dragon of sorts.
ReplyDeleteOh I like it! And you totally give me a giggle at the end and those are the best! Great job!!
ReplyDeleteYikes. Now I don't want to go camping. LOL. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHa, what a great ending! You are so good with flash fiction!
ReplyDeleteIntense! I loved the ending too :)
ReplyDeleteHa ha. Love it! The ending definitely caught me off guard.
ReplyDeleteThe ending was great!
ReplyDeleteLoved the ending. Glad he wasn't dead, dead, dead.
ReplyDeleteIntense scene with a humerous ending. Nice entry!
ReplyDeleteI like how your brought the humor into the end of an otherwise scary story!
ReplyDeleteAww! So great! I really enjoyed this flash fiction story. The repetition was brilliant and created a good voice and intensity.
ReplyDeleteI'll announce the finalists tomorrow.
You did really well in creating suspense. I also liked the humor in the end. It's impressive how you brought such a short piece to a good close.
ReplyDeleteThat was suspenseful. I'm glad Chase is okay.
ReplyDeleteThat was a whole lot of awesome. Your pacing was perfect, and Lex's victory, just thrilling. That last bit was a great release for all the tension! :-) Great piece.
ReplyDeleteSome Dark Romantic
That was really intense! I felt the adrenaline all the way through. Wonderful scene! :)
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad he's okay. :-D
ReplyDelete